Love and Hate - First Year in Korea (Prelude)

I have a love-hate relationship with routine. I love neat stuff, clean houses, ceramics, pottery, table and tea wares. More than everything, I love sitting with a delicious coffee or tea, and just practice my favorite sport. 

Exist.

Working hard is stressing, but I also love the routine of hanging out with coworker after a hard-day work and complain about everything over a meal, or a beer. I like knowing in advance exactly what is expected of me, so I can think and re-think (maybe while drinking said tea or coffee?) and do it to the best of my abilities. 

Who does not like work well done. And the satisfaction that comes with it? 

I'm not one of those, in any case.

While I love planning and I love to know exactly what is going on, I absolutely HATE to be rushed in doing it. So I hate full schedules when it's supposed to be a day off, even if everything is a fun activity (like when you have many things on the same day, on a Saturday that you need to meet two different group of people and do two different things, then have a reservation for something nice like a massage, that you end up having to rush to get through). I love confort, but I hate when I can't enjoy it properly.

While anything related to mental well being (massage, coffee time, movie time etc), I have always felt like I am chasing after something. I work at one place, then I know that's not what I want to do all my life, so I start daydreaming and stressing myself thinking "what then, what then, am I supposed to be doing?" Then I feel restless and wonder what the hell brought me where I am now?

That's when I start hating routine. 

Korea, has been a very weird experience for me so far. 

From the very very very beginning, with the very first f**k up in my schedule, I was told that my mental strength was admirable, that most people would have backed out for less. 

But all through the year, work, friendship, love, everything-wise, it's been a messed-up year. 

I don't know if I am bold, strong or insane, but I figured making a trip back in time might bring some conclusion. And if not, at least, I'll see for myself if people are right and I'm just THAT AMAZING....(?)