Yuki's Haven: John's Wedding.... and Weddings in General

So I'm quite late on the news, but I went to - yet - another wedding this year. It's my third western style Korean wedding. This time, my friend John, from the first workplace I was in when I got here - A-Class. He had the sense to leave such a shitty place around the same time as I left, and now is focusing on making his own English-related stuff. He met his wife last year at the end of last winter, and they decided to get married quite quickly, Korean culture pushing on them the stress of age (people in their 30s should apparently not be single).

To be honest, I think they are an amazing match. While being really nice and considerate at times, he still is sort of a douchebag, and is really whatever about many things. She is a beautiful girl with a strong personality and she whips him back to him place. I guess they must have plenty of small fights, but I think she brings the best in him.

They got married in a super far-ass place. Actually not far if you live in Gangnam, but I don't. So after a long metro ride I got there and met up with Heather, that I hadn't seen in ages. It was great because ironically, John had been at the center of most of the acquaintances I have made in Korea so far.

At least before I started liking baseball.

But that is another story.

Anyways, while I seldom see or hear from John at all lately, I have met lots of nice people that I still hang out with thanks to him. From all different fields. I have also met assholes thanks to him, but well life without assholes would cumulate the crap in good people. We need assholes to get the bad out of the people.

Amen.

The wedding ceremony was in a really pretty place, as usual, but what impressed me most was the variety of good food they had at the buffet. Something pissed me off at the buffet time, so I didn't eat as I should and that was a mistake. Food comes first. Then you can care about pride. Anyways. They had every single thing you could think of, just needed to look for it. And it was fresh. Food-wise it was my favorite wedding so far.

Would I want a wedding like this? I don't know.

Those weddings are focusing about taking pictures of the bride and groom. Every single time the bride moves, a lady comes and put the dress back to a perfect position. Everyone is just a fake smiling acquaintance of either the bride or the groom, and they are only there to be humans beings that add up to the feeling of "completeness" that a married couple should feel. The wedding part is beautiful, and the couples are always adorable. I love seeing them get emotional in front of all the mess their life is about to become. Because weddings are about changes. And about giving you a big slap in the face in front of your whole family, just in case you didn't realize it before.

After the ceremony, people go to the assigned buffet site, and eat food. In small groups, usually the groups they came with. No mingling. No crazy talking. Just eating. And then they all leave.

The End.

That's where I am not fond of Korean style western weddings. Here is what a western wedding is:

People gather in a church (if religious beliefs are there) or at the Law Court, but that's not what I'll focus on with, and get the boring part over with. In a church, photographers try their best to take good pictures, and get pissed at family members who are stupid enough to use their phone and flash to take pictures by putting themselves right in front of the professional's camera (if I get married in Canada, I will absolutely forbid the taking of pictures during the ceremony; I'd rather have 2 or 3 photographers to have more pictures, than having people stand stupidly in the walkway to take pictures of me and ruin the pictures by professionals).

Then after the horribly boring ceremony that basically tells the woman to give her rights away and shut up and work for the happiness of her husband (I don't know if the speeches changed since I was younger, but I swear it is true) and the husband to do all the work and be the pillar of the household, everyone goes to a different place, usually a rented room decorated by the couple and their families, not that glamorous, to have a party.

First, people eat, either the food prepared by the bride and groom's family, or a catering service. I have seen both cases being both amazing or horrible. It's the most hectic part of the evening. Everyone is frigging hungry and most of people, at least me, have headaches for sitting hours at church doing nothing. But there is usually only a tiny ass table with all the food, so people are made to sit at their tables, usually equipped with numbers, and people get to go according to their table numbers.

Then people are free to go at their paces until they are full, or unable to eat more if it's disgusting. A wedding I went to once had mashed potatoes made with potato powder that was super liquid and gross, with parts not well mixed, that still had powder in it.

During the dinner, without fail, people will, at some point, start knocking on their cups with their utensils. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Until the couple starts kissing. Usually, In good weddings, people try not to let the newly married couple eat a bite. Always making them kiss. However good a show they put on by kissing, there is no use. They have to kiss until their food is cold. Because that is every single's way of showing their love and letting go of their jealousy at the happy couple getting married (that is, actually not the real reason. I just decided that it was).

Then people start drinking.

Everyone dances.

The DJ usually is super good or super bad, with no middle ground.

While the ceremony is entirely focussed on the marrying couple, the after party is mostly focussed on everyone meeting each other after an eternity of having each their own lives. You get to hang out with your favorite cousins, or meet the new boyfriends of girlfriends. You get to sweat you life out on the dance floor without caring for getting hit on, because you're with family. You get to talk until the little hours. You usually sleep over at some family member that lives near the party site, and enjoy loads of sweet nothing. The unconditional tacky love you can get from family.

After reading both descriptions of my wedding experiences one might not want do to either. Well I'm just being honest. What I like of the Korean wedding is that you stay with amazing picture of an event, however emotionless and overly sanitized out of humaneness. But for the wedding experience itself, I like the human side, the unpredictability of the event, the proximity of the people who mingle and mix up. The fact that all those people who traveled a long way to meet the couple are not seen as spectator to the sanitized happiness of the new couple, but part of both of their lives.

Anyways. Poor John, I used his wedding to make an analysis of the wedding thing in general. I guess he won't know cuz he doesn't read this blog so I'll be okay.

Here are Matt and John, before the wedding. John sang a song live to his new wife at the ceremony, so he was dead stressed at that point. But he sang well. Below are his childhood friends of whom I hung out many times even without John.